Not being raised as a religious Jew is an awkward category to be in. Converting is another. Having only one Jewish parent is yet a third. Being “Half-Jewish” isn’t as meaningful to me as an identity label as it as a recognition of relationship dynamics within Jewish communities. Who is inside? Who is outside? “Who is a Jew?” is a favorite question and the source of seemingly endless debate, anxiety, and confusion for many people.  What motivates the question? Why so much focus on policing the boundaries of Jewish life? Those of patrilineal descent may be surprised to learn being Jewish according to Jewish law doesn’t count for much – it is not the ticket to acceptance you might imagine. Not being raised religiously means being foreign, like a convert, but without the advantages. People get squirmy. They ask questions like, “How do you know you’re Jewish?” as if I’d hatched out of an egg on another planet, and never met my own relatives.  There are times when I just can’t listen to another round of that conversation. Can the issue be resolved? Is resolution possible? Couldn’t I just, you know, do Jewish things and not have to talk about this any more? Why the chronic need for proof of authenticity?

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